Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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