I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
