I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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