Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
