We won't sleep together?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
