is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
