farters have to be the big spoon...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
