just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
