Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
