Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize