hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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