she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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