I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
