Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
