I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
