you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
