OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
