remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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