wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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