I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
