My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize