When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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