Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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