dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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