Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
