xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
