that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
