Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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