i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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