How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize