How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
