no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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