I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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