I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
