So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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