my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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