I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
