Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
