How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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