PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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