I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
