I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
