Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
