i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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