I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
