Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
