i would punch a child for taco bell
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
love makes seman taste better
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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