Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize