And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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