he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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