I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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