Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
