Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
