Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
