Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
