went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
