I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
we're so committed to being not committed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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