So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
