TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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