I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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