dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
