Sry I called you an 8
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
