just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
