she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You dont lie about slip and slides
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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