So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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