i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?