i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?