Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
