Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
