ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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